Do Parents Have a Favorite Child? Exploring the Truth

YYou take great pride in treating all of your children fairly and equally. After all, “It’s what responsible parents do.” Just last night, your husband suggested that you glance through an article titled “Do parents have a favorite child?” Initially, you dismissed it as “ridiculous.” However, recent research suggests that this topic is more pertinent than you might think.

Being a parent for over 33 years, I have always believed that I did not show favoritism. However, the notion of the “perfect parent” is a myth, leading me to wonder if perhaps, subconsciously, I did favor one child over the others at times. If you are a parent, how do you feel about the concept of favoritism in your own parenting journey?

Exploring the Complexities of Parental Favoritism

In a recent session dedicated to finding insightful content for Chipur, I stumbled upon a fascinating article.

It was featured on Brigham Young University’s BYU News: “Do parents really have a favorite child? Here’s what new research says,” published on January 16, 2025, by Abigail Haven.

The article outlines a new study conducted by Dr. Alex Jensen, a professor at BYU School of Family Life, which was published in the esteemed journal Psychological Bulletin.

Let’s delve into the details of this enlightening study…

Unraveling the Truth: Do Parents Have a Favorite Child?

We begin our exploration by examining the intricate dynamics of family relationships. The blend of shared memories, cherished family traditions, conflicts, and other influencing factors creates a unique bond among family members.

Within this context lies the ongoing debate regarding favoritism—who is the “favorite” child? Factors such as birth order, gender, individual personality traits, and shared interests often contribute to the perception of favoritism.

Dr. Jensen asserts that it is vital for parents to understand the findings of this study, identify patterns in their own families, and recognize whether favoritism is subtly present in their parenting approach. Continuous awareness can lead to small yet impactful adjustments in how parents interact with their children.

Key Findings from the Study on Parental Favoritism

Now, let’s take a closer look at some of the significant findings from this compelling study…

• Research indicates that parents tend to exhibit a slight favor towards daughters over sons, although this bias is often only recognized by the parents themselves.
• The personality traits of the children significantly influence parental favoritism. Regardless of gender or birth order, children who are agreeable and responsible typically receive preferential treatment.
• It is common for parents to find they connect more easily with one child over the others.

Do any of these insights resonate with your experiences as a parent?

Recognizing and Addressing Favoritism in Parenting

Dr. Jensen emphasizes the importance of discovering and being aware of patterns in parental behavior. It is crucial to pay attention to how children respond to situations that may be perceived as favoritism.

This awareness is essential because other research conducted by Dr. Jensen suggests that children who feel less favored may experience poor mental health outcomes and engage in problematic behaviors both at home and in school environments.

Jensen advises parents to be vigilant about situations that may appear unfair. If these instances go unnoticed, children will often express their feelings, so it’s paramount to remain attentive.

Dr. Jensen notes…

Either they lack perspective and understanding, or you may need to reassess your parenting strategies. Be sure to remain open to the possibility of making changes.

Great advice, wouldn’t you agree?

Insights into the Study’s Methodology and Implications

The methodology behind studies like these has always intrigued me. For this particular study, Dr. Jensen and his team analyzed data from over 19,000 individuals, utilizing a diverse cross-section of both published and unpublished research.

The primary aim was to gain a comprehensive understanding of how parental preferences manifest and the long-term influence they can have on children throughout their lives.

Dr. Jensen explains…

Sometimes parents become so focused on treating their children identically that they may overlook the unique needs of each child. We’re not suggesting that parents should feel guilty; instead, they can utilize this research as motivation to identify areas for improvement without veering into extremes.

He also expresses hope that the findings will illuminate family dynamics that are often felt but seldom discussed openly.

Favoritism, whether intentional or not, can profoundly impact sibling relationships and individual well-being. By acknowledging these patterns, parents can work towards fostering stronger family connections in meaningful, nurturing ways.

Dr. Jensen shares…

Sometimes the simplest approaches yield the best results. Be patient with yourself and your children. Building strong relationships takes time, and engaging in a variety of shared activities can yield numerous positive outcomes.

And there you have it.

Identifying Patterns and Making Conscious Adjustments in Parenting

Make it your priority to treat your children with equality and fairness. Indeed, “it’s what good parents do.” However, if you’ve never considered this or feel that you may have faltered, utilize this article and Dr. Jensen’s insights as a guiding light for direction and encouragement.

Keep in mind: actively discover patterns, observe what is transpiring at home, remain aware, and be prepared to make necessary adjustments.

For further reading, here’s the original piece from BYU News: Do parents really have a favorite child? Here’s what new research says.

If you wish to delve into the study itself, you can explore: Parents favor daughters: A meta-analysis of gender and other predictors of parental differential treatment.

For more valuable articles about emotional and mental health, feel free to browse through all the titles or categories listed below.

After enduring a decades-long struggle with panic attacks, generalized anxiety, fluctuating moods, and alcohol dependence, Bill eventually discovered his true passion and purpose in life: helping others navigate similar challenges. At the age of 49, he embarked on a journey through graduate school and earned his counseling credentials. He continues to serve others through Chipur and various other initiatives.