Holiday Stress for Parents: Insights from a Webinar

Content derived from the insightful webinar hosted by MHA and ASU titled: I Don’t Know How to Care for Myself in Stressful Times, featuring experts Dr. Ruben Parra-Cardona, Bethany Younkers, and Dr. Ariana Hoet.

The holiday season is often portrayed as a joyful time filled with family gatherings and festive celebrations. However, for many parents, this period can quickly transform into a source of overwhelming stress and anxiety. The constant pressure to create a flawless holiday experience, manage numerous tasks, and navigate complex family dynamics can significantly impact mental well-being. To effectively cope with this busy season, it’s essential to prioritize self-care, establish healthy boundaries, and leverage your support network. By embracing these strategies, you can enjoy a more balanced and less stressful holiday season. Remember, creating meaningful moments of joy does not necessitate perfection—it simply requires mindfulness and intention.

1. Clarify Your Values and Establish Boundaries for a Stress-Free Holiday.
   It’s all too easy to slip into the mindset that you must accomplish every task during the holiday season, leading to excessive commitments. Dr. Ruben suggests taking a moment to reflect on your core values and priorities as the holidays approach. Once you have a clear understanding of what matters most, you can set boundaries that align with these values and adhere to them. This approach might involve prioritizing quality family time over numerous external commitments or choosing a shorter event rather than a full-day gathering. By recognizing that saying “no” to certain activities allows you to say “yes” to what truly matters, you can alleviate some of the guilt associated with setting limits.

2. Transform Your Perspective on Self-Care for Better Mental Health
   It’s vital to shift the perception of self-care from being seen as a luxury to recognizing it as an essential practice for self-preservation. Many parents tend to place their own needs at the bottom of their priority list to ensure that everyone else is taken care of. By changing the way we think about self-care, we can acknowledge its necessity in maintaining both physical and mental health. Self-care does not have to be extravagant or costly; it’s about meeting your basic needs, nurturing yourself, and sustaining your energy. This process can look different for everyone, so avoid the trap of thinking self-care must conform to specific, often expensive, activities like spa days or salon visits. Instead, focus on small, meaningful practices that suit your lifestyle.

   Examples of effective self-care strategies include:

   • Taking a few deep breaths to help calm and reset your nervous system.
   • Reaching out to your support network: “Could someone watch the kids while I shop?”
   • Incorporating gentle movement into your day, whether it’s a brief walk or a few minutes of stretching.
   • Politely declining a holiday invitation when you need time for yourself.

3. Embrace Community Support: Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help
   Parenting is not meant to be a solitary journey; rather, it’s beneficial to engage with your community for support. You are not alone in your feelings of overwhelm—many others are navigating similar challenges. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or community members to create a co-caring environment. This could mean collaborating with other families, such as taking turns hosting dinners or sharing school drop-off and pick-up responsibilities. Cultivating a shared community can provide invaluable support, especially during busy seasons like the holidays. Dr. Ruben emphasizes the significance of fostering a lifestyle that promotes protective factors, allowing life’s challenges to be more manageable. Recognizing this can be difficult, but your community can provide essential support during tough times. Additionally, the holiday season may evoke feelings of grief and sadness if loved ones are absent. Having a strong support system can offer comfort during these challenging emotional periods.

4. Infuse Joy into Your Daily Routines for a Happier Holiday Season
   When your to-do list is extensive, even simple tasks like washing dishes or doing laundry can become burdensome. Bethany shared her experiences of integrating joyful moments into her weekly routines with her daughter. Invite your children to join you in these tasks—let them help dry dishes while you wash, or fold laundry together while enjoying fun music. These small, intentional interactions can transform mundane activities into joyful experiences. Many parents often grapple with guilt when they feel they aren’t spending enough time with their children, particularly working parents with limited hours together. Dr. Ariana shared her strategies for managing stress and guilt, highlighting the importance of being present and intentional during everyday activities. This approach mirrors Bethany’s philosophy of finding joy in routine tasks, allowing for quality family time.

5. Release the Burden of Comparison and Embrace Your Unique Journey
   In an age dominated by social media, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, particularly when it comes to the seemingly perfect holiday experiences portrayed online. The holidays can amplify these feelings, as families often feel pressured to buy gifts, engage in every activity, and travel extensively. This comparison can lead to emotional stress and financial strain. Dr. Ruben discussed the necessity of dismantling societal narratives surrounding parenting, which can often feel overwhelming and oppressive. Instead of measuring your worth against others, focus on what you can do with your available resources. The most cherished memories often come from quality time spent together, where you are genuinely present, regardless of how grand the activity may seem. Dr. Ruben shared that some of his favorite moments involve simple family traditions like popping popcorn and watching movies together at home—reminding us that joy can be found in the simplest of moments, without adding financial pressure.

   By concentrating on what truly matters—establishing boundaries, prioritizing self-care, leveraging your support system, and celebrating the small joys—you can cultivate a holiday season that is both meaningful and enjoyable for you and your loved ones. Remind yourself that the essence of the holiday is not in achieving perfection but in being present and intentional with your time and resources. Take a moment to breathe deeply, release the weight of comparison, and grant yourself the grace to enjoy this holiday season.